Official age report no. 40
Figures as at 24 November 2026
Bloody hell, you’re old.
Conor
Born 24 November 1986 in Cork
40years
- 480months
- 2,087weeks
- 14,610days
- 350,640hours
- 21,038,400minutes
- 1,262,304,000seconds
When you were born
- It was a Monday.
- Last quarter moon that day.
- There were 4.96 billion of us on Earth (over 8 billion today).
- Euro notes and coins didn’t exist yet.
You’re older than
- the fall of the Berlin Wall1989 · you were 2
- Google1997 · you were 10
- Wikipedia2001 · you were 14
- the iPhone2007 · you were 20
Meanwhile
- 2,088Mondays
- 2,087weekends
- 40Christmases
- 494full moons
- 70Fridays the 13th
- ≈ 37.6billion km around the Sun
Roughly speaking
- ≈ 13 years asleep, at 8 hours a night.
- ≈ 8,040 coffees, at one a day since you turned 18.
- ≈ 1.5 billion heartbeats, at 70 a minute.
Coming up
- 15,000 days on Earth: Sunday, 19 December 2027.
- 2 billion seconds old: around 10 April 2050.
- Next Friday the 13th: August 2027.
You can stop counting now. We did it for you.
Counted midnight to midnight, from 24 November 1986 to 24 November 2026. Population: UN, World Population Prospects 2024. Moon: Jean Meeus’s algorithms. ≈ means an estimate.
The preview is exactly what gets printed. Every figure is calculated; nothing is made up.
MARCEL ET LES BLONDES
Personalised birthday poster “Bloody hell, you’re old” — their age in numbers
The birthday poster that turns their age into statistics: “Bloody hell, you’re old”, then their days, their Mondays, their full moons and everything that didn’t exist when they were born, all worked out from their date of birth. Three tones, three styles, A4 to 70 × 100 cm.
Step 4 of 4: Do the maths name · date · tone · style
The counters stop on the day of this birthday: 24 November 2026.
Your personalisation
Check the spelling: the poster is printed exactly as is, to order.
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Designed in Aveyron, FranceComposed in our family workshop, checked before it ships.
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Printed to order250 g matte paper, pigment inks, at the workshop nearest to you.
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Shipped within 48 hTo your door or to a pickup point, by La Poste or Colissimo.
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Ready to giveStandard frame sizes, easy to find.
Secure payment
Full description
Their first name, their date of birth, and the poster does the depressing maths: 480 months, 2,087 weeks, 14,610 days, 21 million minutes. Then what didn’t exist yet when they were born — the Web, the first text message, Google, the iPhone — and how old they were each time, the Mondays, Christmases and full moons already behind them, and the date they reach 15,000 days on Earth.
Everything is calculated, nothing is made up: the counts are exact, midnight to midnight, up to the birthday you choose; the events are dated and cross-checked; anything that can only be an estimate, like the coffees since they turned 18, says so. Three tones (kind, cheeky, ruthless), three styles, and a last line to pick or write. The preview is exactly what gets printed.
- 250 g matte paper, pigment inks, printed to order.
- Five sizes: A4, 30 × 40, 40 × 60, 50 × 70 and 70 × 100 cm.
- Optional wooden frame on the A4 and 30 × 40, black, white or natural.
- Or the print-ready file: all five sizes, each as a PDF and a 300 dpi PNG, by download link.
The poster, once printed
Sizes
A4 · 21 × 29.7 cm
The keepsake: a birth, the sky of one date. Everyone owns an A4 frame, and it ships flat, in a stiff card envelope.
30 × 40 cm Our favourite
The entry size, the most framed in Europe: IKEA, HEMA, Action, Desenio.
40 × 60 cm
Bedroom and hallway décor, in 2:3 like a photograph. Frames at Juniqe, Posterlounge, Europosters — not at IKEA.
50 × 70 cm
The flagship living-room size, sold across the market. Shipped rolled in a rigid tube, home delivery only.
70 × 100 cm
The large wall size. 70 × 100 frames at IKEA (RÖDALM) and Desenio. Home delivery only.
Prefer to print it yourself? All five sizes, each as a PDF and as a 300 dpi PNG — ten files, by a download link sent after payment.
How it works
- Give us a date of birth
Their first name, date of birth and the birthday you’re celebrating: the poster works out the rest — months, days, Mondays, full moons, and everything that didn’t exist yet when they were born.
- Pick the tone
Kind, cheeky or ruthless: the headings and the last line change, the numbers never do. Then one of three styles: Swiss, Newspaper or Midnight.
- We print close to you
To order, on 250 g matte paper, at the partner workshop nearest to your address. Or you receive the download link for the file by e-mail.
Specifications
| Formats | A4, 30 × 40, 40 × 60, 50 × 70 and 70 × 100 cm |
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| Paper | Satin matte, 250 g/m² |
| Inks | Pigment-based, lightfast |
| Optional frame | On A4 and 30 × 40: wood, black · white · natural, with acrylic glass |
| File only | All five sizes as PDF and 300 dpi PNG, €8.90 |
| Map data | Exact calculations · UN (population) · Meeus (Moon) |
| Design | Dandymaps® |
| Personalisation | First name · He or she · Date of birth · Age · Place of birth · Tone · Short line · Style |
| Occasions | 40th birthday · 30th birthday · 50th birthday · 60th birthday · Retirement · Funny gift |
| Gift for | Your best mate · A brother or sister · A work colleague · Your partner |
More gift ideas: A birthday
Frequently asked questions
Why do you ask which birthday it is?
Because that’s the day the counters stop: a 40th-birthday poster counts up to the day they turn 40, even if you order it two months early, and it prints that date at the top. The page suggests it for you from the date of birth — the next birthday — and you can change it.
What are the three tones?
Kind, for parents and family; cheeky, teasing but fond; ruthless, for friends who can take it. The tone changes the section headings and the suggested last lines, never the numbers. The joke is always about time passing, never about the person.
Which ages does it work for?
From 1 to 110. It’s designed for 30th, 40th, 50th and 60th birthdays, but the maths works for everyone: born before October 2010, you’re older than Instagram; before July 1969, older than the first step on the Moon. The events shown change with the date of birth.
Can I give it to a woman?
Of course: choose “She”. The English wording stays the same for him and for her, and the numbers never change.
Does the swearing have to stay?
Yes: “Bloody hell” is the title of the poster, a mild oath rather than real swearing, and it’s what gets the laugh when the wrapping comes off. For someone you’d rather not ruffle, the kind tone and the Newspaper style, in italics, take the edge off everything around it.
What does the poster show?
“Bloody hell, you’re old” in huge letters, then the first name, the date of birth and the birthday they’re celebrating. Below: their age in months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds; what didn’t exist yet when they were born, and how old they were when it arrived; the Mondays, weekends, Christmases and full moons already behind them; three shameless estimates; the next dates worth noting; and a last line to finish.
Are the numbers real?
Yes. They’re calculated date to date, leap years included, midnight to midnight, up to the day of the birthday they’re celebrating, which is printed at the top. Full moons are counted one by one, events are dated to the day and cross-checked, and the population figure comes from the UN. Anything that can only be an estimate — sleep, coffees, heartbeats — is written with its assumption and the ≈ sign.
Which sizes and frames?
A4, 30 × 40, 40 × 60, 50 × 70 and 70 × 100 cm: standard frame sizes, easy to find (IKEA, HEMA, Action, Desenio). Optional wooden frame on the A4 and 30 × 40, in black, white or natural, with acrylic glass; the larger sizes ship rolled, to frame at home.
What paper is the poster printed on?
250 g/m² satin matte paper, lightfast pigment inks. Printed to order in our workshop up to 40 × 60, by our printer beyond that. Shipped rolled in a rigid tube; the A4 travels flat, in a stiff card envelope, and a framed poster in a cardboard box.
Can I get the file instead of the poster?
Yes. The print-ready file (€8.90) contains all five sizes, each as a PDF and as a 300 dpi PNG — ten files in all, by a download link sent after payment, to print wherever you like.
How long does it take?
Printed within 48 hours, then delivered to your home or a pickup point — home delivery only for the 50 × 70 and 70 × 100. The download link for the print-ready file is sent the same day.